*this post was partially composed on airplane barf bags.
we stayed at the hard rock.
we drank alcohol at 10am while shopping at h&m. linds and i also tried on french maid, sailor, and flapper outfits at frederick's.
we had a surprise bday pre-party for linds in the room that included cupcakes, champagne, and party hats.
(with vanity in our hearts and champagne in our bloodstream), we took a million ridiculous pictures of ourselves. the curtain, wall, and pillow shots are about three glasses in.

during pre-dinner gambling at the venetian, we were spotted by a tao nightclub host named billy love, who offered us VIP access and free drinks at his club. he called rhea an "alpha female".
but first we had dinner at tao. it was over the top and amazing. look how cute we are. blah blah.
at the clurb, we were bureaucratically (whit's word choice) branded with asian symbols, adorned with free drink bracelets, and herded like sheep up one million flights of stairs to the most AMAZING rooftop lounge EVER. we enjoyed free drinks and had a private dance party that was kicked off by me doing "the charleston" for several minutes.
cabbed it back to the hard rock for our table/bottle service appointment at body english. this was lindsay's actual bday party.
we were bombarded by a group of dashing british guys, one of whom alleged to be the prince of guernsey. google results confirmed that was a lie. i called him "princey-pants".
we had a totally girly sentimental moment on the dance floor that one of the brits almost ruined by jumping in and out of our circle with a goofy "o" face. "sir, ugh, please! we're having fun without you!"
we also babysat two 23-year-olds who called us cougars "in a good way" because they read in the pick up artist that girls like backhanded compliments. jen lectured them and sent them on their way. linds and i ended up talking to them long enough for them to fall in love with us, made a lame excuse to bail, and gambled our guilt away in the casino.
that was saturday.
sunday started with brunch at the pink taco- on the patio that overlooked the goings on of the (world famous) pool party called "rehab".
jen convinced people leaving to give us their bracelet passes because we only got four with our hotel reservation.
okay. we actually went to this ridiculous pool party. it needs a couple paragraphs.
rehab is like mtv spring break. rehab has its own reality t.v. show on vh1. rehab is NOT where you would expect to find the six of us girls. but there we were- glammed out in our retro one pieces, with gobs of jewelry, giant sunglasses, and red lipstick. oh, and jro wore a turban on her head. she looked like a vegas pool party goddess.
honestly, we were adorable. many of us who don't typically flounce around in bathing suits publicly- well, we flounced. we also ordered 32 ounce daiquiris, befriended the guy who invented itunes, and called mike a. of tool academy a "tool" and "not actually famous". we also witnessed two strangers doing it in the pool. dis-gusting.
after rehab, but before we had time to shower and change into regular clothes, the HOTEL CAUGHT ON FIRE and everyone was evacuated to the parking lot. shocker- i was the first one down. another shocker- jro changed into a dress before potentially being burned to death.
we met this guy, who brought a chair and a beer down for the evacuation and said, "every day's a holiday." we also heard that montel williams and santanna were in the parking lot discussing world peace and tweeting.
fox news spotted us in bathrobes and bathing suits and asked if we could be interviewed.
everyone but whitney: "ABSOLUTELY."
everyone but whitney: "WHITNEY?" (pushing whitney toward camera)
here's whitney being interviewed while we stand awkwardly behind her and snort.
with nowhere else to go, we walked across the street to see what we could find.
(that picture is the "post-pool-party/evacuated from hotel" version of this, btw. my idea.)
this is whitney, jen, and linds standing sexily on the median of a busy las vegas street...
after shopping at cvs for clothes and eating at johnny rockets.
once back at the hotel (that did not burn down), whitney and jen hit the slots.
sunday night we ate dinner at spaggos in ceasar's palace. mmmmm.
during dinner, jro demonstrated the "las vegas zone out" dance that we will do whenever we hate our life and want to block reality and think of nothing but this perfect trip.
we walked around the bellagio (which is totally enchanting and turned me into alice, of wonderland)
watched the fountain show
and ended back in our rooms to watch kanye west make an ass of himself again.
monday was spent checking out some more hotels, ordering free mimosas, and losing all our money.
here are my winnings:
actually, jen got 4 aces on video poker and won $125. of course.
oh, and rhea and i got married in a wedding chapel. surprise scandal, ya'll!
and on the way to the airport, we sexually harassed some air force boys in jumpsuits.


viva las vegas.
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