(this is all very important)

omg we're moving for our DOGS.

sigh...so that they can have a yard with doggy door access. we really are THOSE people, ya'll. i mean, it's not like we've been unaware of this (remember our trip to the indoor dog park?), but the upcoming move is a real clencher.

and it's not like we'll MIND living in an actual (non-duplex!) mint green 1924 bungalow with a porch and a yard and a guest bathroom, but for seriously-- the dogs have us wrapped around their little paws. 

this is it, though. this place is "the one". we won't be moving again for awhile. write that down. no really, i know i can be ridiculously fickle and impulsive. but i really really really mean it. really.

two lukes for halloween

scary thought, right? :)

our conversation in the car was something like this:

"AFRICA!" "BIDEN!" "HOMEBREW!" "TONY JONES!"

i texted that to dale and rhea after they (who were following us) texted: "two luke's in an egg car!"

they responded: "what about the 1988 presidential election?"

we sent back: "FUCKIN DUKAKIS!"

this week's best

alexi murdoch- all my days

(a sweet, sunny, lazy saturday song)

his 2006 album, time without consequence, is a play-all-day kind of album. very light and unobtrusive. many of the songs are featured in the indie film away we go (which i adored). he's on tour in america now and will release towards the sun in a couple months.

garage sale next saturday and i desperately need a maid.

on nov. 7th, my friend lisa and i will be using her perfectly located lakewood yard to get rid of all our crap. let me know if you'd like to join us.

yes, some of my crazy thrift purchases are now considered my "crap". a couple larger decorative crazies are piled in a closet and have never seen the light of day... but such is the potential fate of thrifted pieces, i guess.

i also decided that i need a maid. i'm pretty lazy once i get home from a long day of never sitting down. seriously, i never sit down. and i rarely get home before 7:00 because i'm either tutoring after school, grading and getting shit done in the classroom, or attending board meetings that my principal signed me up for. 

today i forced myself to come to grips with the fact that my organized angel has given in to my cluttered demon. if i had a maid, i would at LEAST have to de-clutter beforehand. and maybe a perfectly clean house would motivate me to keep things picked up?

this is all very unlike me! i'm usually a borderline nazi. what's happening to me?

exhibit a.) clean laundry that never made it into the drawers or the closet.

 

exhibit b.) my closet floor

exhibit c.) hi, welcome to my house! i use suave and lady speed stick and enjoy sour patch kids! oh, and shopping at big lots!

exhibit d.) nope, no room for towels on the towel rack.

exhbit e.) nope, you can't sit down either.

 

glad you stopped by!

eish.

holy crap kids are cute.

Dear Mayor Leppert,

 I love aniamals. So I don't want people to hunt them. And I don't want people to eat them. And I am a Artest.

Dear Mayor Leppert,

I want there to be no more cars. I don't engeoy them any way. You don't get exersize. People don't under stand pulooshon. Maby you could try to make people more aware of that.

 

Dear Mayor Leppert,

I think there should be a new law. I think every thing in the world, even people, should be made out of chocolate. I think that because you will not have to cook or go to a restrant. All you have to do is, well, eat a tree. I also want my name changed to Clamanda.

 

today in social studies

while comparing and contrasting leaders of the past with leaders of today, one of my students popped his hand up and asked, "is rachel maddow a leader of today?" 

after i stopped giggling, i asked him if he watched rachel maddow and he replied with a straight face: "every day."    

we then bantered back and forth about keith's recent special comment on health care.

the 2nd "boy who loved her alot"

i've got another admirer, ya'll. this one has red hair and freckles and reads 179 words per minute. and his name is henry.

he wrote me a 4-notecard-long poem, which he left on my desk with an orange paper mache tulip that took him 3 days to create.

ahem. le poem...

How I love you your heart so sweet. With your sweetness I here the beat. Verry loveing so budiful, you almost beat the butterfly rule.

I love your skin your bluebird eyes.  You have probably have a big surprize!!

You teach us more and more and more. Finily we reach the score!

You are the verry best and at the end of the day you let us rest.

I bet you love to make us read. and the whole class loves to plead. I hope you relley like this letter and I know I will learn better!

From: Henry

we got fixed and we don't feel dood

(ahem, "we" as in "the dogs". i did not get fixed. though i wouldn't turn a willing doctor away. frankly.)

downtown mckinney

i always want to go to downtown mckinney. i just think it's adorable and charming, especially during the holidays. luke grew up there (his grandpa and great grandpa were mayors, in fact), so he's never been a huge fan of going back for visits. i mean, he DID get into some trouble in mckinney (ahem. stolen car.), so i can sort of understand why.

nevertheless, luke surprised me and booked a night at the grand hotel on the square (which included champagne and strawberries and a super nice dinner at rick's chophouse) and we couldn't believe how urban and happening it felt up there.

omg. i just said "happening" as a synonym for cool. 

anyway, i was also totally taken with the white tin ceiling at the hotel. a huge dork am i. 

teachers should get daily news briefings

so that they don't miss BALLOON BOY stories.

during a 5 minute break in between parent conferences, i decided to use my time wisely to check up on the goings on of the world, which led to a discovery of the balloon boy crisis... which led to a frantic internet search freakout... which was interrupted by a parent who walked in without making her presence known... which led to my socially awkward explanation of what i was reading on the internet... which led to a blank stare.

(briefings are also needed for youtube videos.)

best sunday in awhile

after a day spent soaking up every free minute of the at&t performing arts center spotlight sunday extravaganza, i basked in the glory of a DUELING fireworks show- accompanied by a trade-off of hip hop and opera songs. there's really nothing i could say here to do it justice. if you missed it, be sorry. be very sorry. because it was the best firework show ever in the history of (dallas) firework shows. or maybe the world. i don't know. i haven't seen every firework show in the world. but it's possible.

jen and i spent 9 hours downtown yesterday. we hit every museum and every free show we could possibly attend. we drank jasmine tea at the crow collection, we watched flamenco dancers at the dma, we oohed and aahed over the genius of foster and partners architecture, we choked up again while watching mass ensemble be absurdly inventive and talented, and we remembered why living in dallas isn't so bad after all. 

an open letter to weather

listen up, WEATHER. i have officially transitioned to fall/winter mode. the boots are being worn, the tights and leggings are in an easy to reach bundle, the scarves are draped beautifully, and i'm NOT going back. there are gourds on my classroom tables, apple cinnamon plug-ins illegally plugged into three outlets (oh please. since when has a school burned down because of glade plug-it-ins?), and luke finally caved to my dramatic teeth chattering episodes and turned on the heat. IT'S FALL, WEATHER.  no more random 80 degree days. no more humidity. just BE WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. GOD.

fall favo(u)rites

chilly weekend mornings with the fam

zombieland at the drive-in (with intermission commercials from the 60s)

my scarf collection

snorty little piglets at the fair

 

cheese plate, miller lites, and pink golf clubs

the opera

 

big-headed kids in zip-up hoodies

death-defying, overpriced skyway ride at the fair

kids who impersonate charlie chaplin down the hall
 

dad's 52nd karaoke party (with his crazy hs friends)

 

coffee mugs

ha! i can kinda see my reflection!

the week before last's best :)

fried food update etc.

the second annual trip to the fair is where i get serious. this is what i and a few unnamed family members and friends ingested on wednesday night (which is $1 NT food bank nite. what what.):

fried okra

chicken fried bacon

two orders of fried butter

fried smores (new favorite)

corny dogs

fried yam on a stick

cinnamon roll

pineapple whip

chocolate milk

pizza

coke

beer

okay, i guess i'll out carter and tell you what happened next:

jen asked, "carter, aren't you lactose intolerant?"

carter: "nah, nah, i beat it."

jen: "how?"

carter: "i kept eating lactose."

(MUCH laughter ensued)

five minutes later carter is seen holding his stomach, belching, and shaking his head in regret. he later mumbles, "oh god". finally, he is found LYING IN THE BACK OF AN ASTRO VAN in the car building with a pale face and vacant expression.

he then has to GO HOME EARLY with my dad while the people WITH a tolerance for lactose and a freakish ability to ingest eight fried things without consequence enjoy the rest of the fair.

the end.

slowly but surely, it's getting easier to be green in dallas

after luke, dale, and johnny v. came back from their saturday afternoon man-date RAVING about the tacos at the green spot market on buckner (which they ate on a park bench at white rock lake), i looked into this alleged "spot" and discovered that it's a first of it's kind HEALTHY convenience store and biodiesel station and i cannot BELIEVE i went this long without visiting it or pimping it!

in addtion to EXCELLENT tacos (which change on a daily basis to keep things exciting), green spot has organic, locally produced eggs and fruit, fair trade coffee, and a natural soda fountain. they also use eco-friendly cups and utensils made from corn plastic and other compostable materials. they call it "ecovenience". 

green spot also hosts the white rock local market that happens on the second saturday of every month (or click here for my previous post about it). it's coming up this weeked on october 10th. 

fair gang story #2/best story of all time

THIS is the winner of an unknown creative arts category at the state fair of texas. after some consideration, we decided that maybe it was the only submission for the unknown category. either way, teri googled the name on the 1st place ribbon, found her home phone #, and i called her from the creative arts building to inquire about the piece.

me: um, hi! is this "a-- m----"? the artist who entered the earth baby head to the texas state fair?

earth baby artist: uh... yes? who is this?

me: my name is kerri. i'm here at the fair standing in front of your piece. my friend and i...well, we were wondering if you could explain it to us...

earth baby artist: OH MY GOD! what? you're AT the FAIR? how did you get my NUMBER?

me: an iphone. we googled your name and boop! there you were!

(teri cackles in the background)

earth baby artist: WOW! well.. ahem... the piece means what you WANT it to mean....

me: yeah, well, we really can't figure out an interpretation. we were hoping to learn what it meant to YOU...

earth baby artist: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME! THIS IS SO AWESOME! I'M SO FLATTERED! YOU MEAN YOU'RE THERE RIGHT NOW?

me: yes, yes we are!

earth baby artist: WELL, i'm going to be written up in the advocate soon, so give me your email address and i'll send you the info when it comes out and you and your friends can read all about it!!!

me: ummm, okay! (i gave her my email address)

(cackle)

earth baby artist: HAHA! THIS IS SO FUNNY! DOES IT LOOK GOOD IN THE DISPLAY?? I HAVEN'T MADE IT OUT THERE YET!!!

me: it looks GREAT! ...are you aware that you won 1st place?

earth baby artist: (passes out)

i love east dallas because...

people ride beautiful white horses down swiss avenue.

a picture study

i was tagged in this ridiculous picture on facebook tonight, and after the SHEER PANIC wore off (and i un-tagged it), i decided that it represents an era in my life that is worth sharing on my extremely public blog.

i am 16 in this picture. this is the 1997 homecoming court. i had just recently decided that i could be different- that i didn't have to be just like all the other high school girls (who wore dark variations of the same dress and did their hair in poodle-like up-dos). i bought this absurd silver sequin dress at dillards for like $50 bucks (that sparkled like a beacon, and which i proudly wore before the concept of sequins was remotely conceivable to high school girls) and refused to do anything with my hair or wear any makeup. i wanted to look like every-day me, but just wearing a fancy dress. looking back, i wish i had done SOMEthing with my hair. good lord.

that dress was actually sorta scandalous for my christian school at the time. the back was really open and low cut and i have a home video upon which catty whispers of a fellow classmate can be heard in the background. my reaction to those whispers as a 10th grader: bring it on, biyatch."

i have a little zuriel in my class

top golf with pink clubs

(and this is me hitting my first golf ball-- well, not counting putt putt'ing. i got to the 130 yard flag!)

madonna and "madonna" (@ 1:00 on 2nd video)

MTV Shows

fair gang story #1

*this is going to be a lot of words strung together in an excited jumble!

the fried peanut butter & jelly sandwich guy/former blog commentor who gave us a free fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich two years ago for pimping his product on my blog...well, he is now the fried BUTTER guy and he totally remembered the fair gang and gave marla (who was wearing a shirt that said, "i support fried butter") and me a second order of fried butter on the HIZZOUSE, we got each got our picture taken with him, i called him "my boyfriend" in front of his wife, and the fried butter was THE BEST FAIR FOOD I'VE EVER PUT INTO MY MOUTH.  EVER EVER EVER. and to think that i had been a NAYSAYER!?!

GET THE GARLIC ONES!!

on bilingualism.

well i decided to put icelandic on hold so that i could focus for awhile on the more relevant and necessary spanish language. gilbert, the middle-aged hispanic custodian at my school (who became a dear, dear friend once he stopped flirting with me), is giving me spanish lessons almost every day.

it all started when he was in my room while i was tutoring my illiterate french student and explaining the "silent e" rule. gilbert stopped sweeping, marched over to the board and said, "wai wai wai (without the "t")... you mean if there is an "e" on the end of the word, the... what do you call it?.. vowel? has a different sound?"

so (using a pointer), i taught gilbert and the french girl the difference between "can" and "cane". after the lesson, gilbert said he would repay me the next day by teaching me to speak better spanish because i "work in disd and one day everyone will be hispanic so if you want to keep your job, you will learn".

good point, gil.

so it's been three weeks and without fail, he teaches me spanish while he cleans my classroom. sometimes he comes in and spouts off nonsense to "test me", and i shoot back an equally nonsensical response without looking up from my desk. today i learned that "que?" (for "what?") isn't what respectful people say. the better word is "mande?". i also learned that american girls give WAY too much detail and a simple "si" or "no" will suffice for just about any question. 

i was really excited when i said this to gilbert yesterday: "mucho trabajo pero puedo hablar un minuto", which means, "lots of work, but i can talk for a minute". and then he taught me that when you say "trabajo", the emphasis is on the "ba".  traBAjo.

traBAjo, mis amigos. no TRAbajo. or trabaJO.  esto es muy importante si usted habla español!

linds has small feet and hands

and rhealyn has an island toe that's there all by its little self. as you can see, there's enough room for my entire finger.

and i fear that i am developing a bunyon. (no picture. teehee!)

no wine was ingested before this photo shoot.

cnn: unidentified (alien??) creature found in panama

this kid gets it.

homophones are funny

this is a homophone word wall i started last week. i let the kids add to it with expo markers and draw pictures whenever they think up new ones.

they have since added "butt/but". they have also drawn a little pee stream with yellow marker. they can't even look on that side of the room without giggling about these SCANDALOUS additions.

vegas: so here's what happened

*this post was partially composed on airplane barf bags.

we stayed at the hard rock.

we drank alcohol at 10am while shopping at h&m. linds and i also tried on french maid, sailor, and flapper outfits at frederick's.

we had a surprise bday pre-party for linds in the room that included cupcakes, champagne, and party hats.

(with vanity in our hearts and champagne in our bloodstream), we took a million ridiculous pictures of ourselves. the curtain, wall, and pillow shots are about three glasses in.

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

during pre-dinner gambling at the venetian, we were spotted by a tao nightclub host named billy love, who offered us VIP access and free drinks at his club. he called rhea an "alpha female".

but first we had dinner at tao. it was over the top and amazing. look how cute we are. blah blah.

at the clurb, we were bureaucratically (whit's word choice) branded with asian symbols, adorned with free drink bracelets, and herded like sheep up one million flights of stairs to the most AMAZING rooftop lounge EVER. we enjoyed free drinks and had a private dance party that was kicked off by me doing "the charleston" for several minutes. 

cabbed it back to the hard rock for our table/bottle service appointment at body english. this was lindsay's actual bday party. 

we were bombarded by a group of dashing british guys, one of whom alleged to be the prince of guernsey. google results confirmed that was a lie. i called him "princey-pants". 

 

we had a totally girly sentimental moment on the dance floor that one of the brits almost ruined by jumping in and out of our circle with a goofy "o" face. "sir, ugh, please! we're having fun without you!"

we also babysat two 23-year-olds who called us cougars "in a good way" because they read in the pick up artist that girls like backhanded compliments. jen lectured them and sent them on their way. linds and i ended up talking to them long enough for them to fall in love with us, made a lame excuse to bail, and gambled our guilt away in the casino.

that was saturday.

sunday started with brunch at the pink taco- on the patio that overlooked the goings on of the (world famous) pool party called "rehab".

jen convinced people leaving to give us their bracelet passes because we only got four with our hotel reservation.

okay. we actually went to this ridiculous pool party. it needs a couple paragraphs.

rehab is like mtv spring break. rehab has its own reality t.v. show on vh1. rehab is NOT where you would expect to find the six of us girls. but there we were- glammed out in our retro one pieces, with gobs of jewelry, giant sunglasses, and red lipstick. oh, and jro wore a turban on her head. she looked like a vegas pool party goddess.

honestly, we were adorable. many of us who don't typically flounce around in bathing suits publicly- well, we flounced. we also ordered 32 ounce daiquiris, befriended the guy who invented itunes, and called mike a. of tool academy a "tool" and "not actually famous". we also witnessed two strangers doing it in the pool. dis-gusting.

after rehab, but before we had time to shower and change into regular clothes, the HOTEL CAUGHT ON FIRE and everyone was evacuated to the parking lot. shocker- i was the first one down. another shocker- jro changed into a dress before potentially being burned to death.

we met this guy, who brought a chair and a beer down for the evacuation and said, "every day's a holiday." we also heard that montel williams and santanna were in the parking lot discussing world peace and tweeting.

 

fox news spotted us in bathrobes and bathing suits and asked if we could be interviewed.

everyone but whitney: "ABSOLUTELY."

everyone but whitney: "WHITNEY?" (pushing whitney toward camera)

here's whitney being interviewed while we stand awkwardly behind her and snort.

 

with nowhere else to go, we walked across the street to see what we could find.

 

(that picture is the "post-pool-party/evacuated from hotel" version of this, btw.  my idea.)

this is whitney, jen, and linds standing sexily on the median of a busy las vegas street...

after shopping at cvs for clothes and eating at johnny rockets.

 

 

once back at the hotel (that did not burn down), whitney and jen hit the slots.

sunday night we ate dinner at spaggos in ceasar's palace. mmmmm.

during dinner, jro demonstrated the "las vegas zone out" dance that we will do whenever we hate our life and want to block reality and think of nothing but this perfect trip.

we walked around the bellagio (which is totally enchanting and turned me into alice, of wonderland)

 

watched the fountain show

 

and ended back in our rooms to watch kanye west make an ass of himself again.

monday was spent checking out some more hotels, ordering free mimosas, and losing all our money.

here are my winnings:

actually, jen got 4 aces on video poker and won $125. of course.

oh, and rhea and i got married in a wedding chapel. surprise scandal, ya'll!

 

and on the way to the airport, we sexually harassed some air force boys in jumpsuits.

  

viva las vegas.